I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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