I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize