ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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