just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
