Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
