I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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