Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
