Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize