I learned to sign I want to be on you today
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Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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