i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
