He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
