don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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