hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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