Dude my mom stole all your condoms
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize