So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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