people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
