I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
operation harelip BJ is a go
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
