I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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