i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
