Can i not drive my cunt home
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
