Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
