So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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