I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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