After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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