Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
