we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize