Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize