Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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