For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
