i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
