No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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