i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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