If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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