Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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