in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My bed smells like the plague
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
