Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
