I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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