girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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