when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
