My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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