Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
