When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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