You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
