I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize