you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
