Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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