"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
