At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
