Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
