Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
