oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
