Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize