is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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