I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes