do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!