chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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