Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
