we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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