just tell him i said nine months
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
