I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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