How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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